I am one of the luckiest girls in the world...they say that most people walk their lives on Earth without ever having the opportunity to meet their soulmate...however I have found mine...top that off with my kids and you can say I have the perfect life...of course there are ups and downs...especially as of late...but we work through them and become better because of lessons learned....as of August of 2010, our bond has grown stronger and noone can come between us...
With that said...this morning was a reality check for me...I got on the scale and it read 191 lbs...mind you I'm only 4'11''...so yes I'm short...I carry the weight well...considering...however I don't like the person I have become...I don't like the fact that my clothes is tight because I refuse to by bigger clothes...I don't like the fact that my kids tell me I'm fat...mind you they don't realize what they say cause they are kids...but they tell me that they want me to exercise and not be fat...and I have come to realize that if I lose weight not only will I be around to see my kids grow...but watch them start their own families...if I don't change my habits I don't know what is going to become of me...of us...my husband and I are at the same point in our lives...no motivation to lose weight...but I don't understand what better motivation than seeing our kids grow up, being able to go to the park with them and playing...enjoying our sex life without being out of breath, getting a cramp, or simply not being able to move for a while after because we are exhausted with just 10 minutes of lovemaking...going up the stairs leaves me out of breath...I can barely tie my shoes...so I just leave the shoelaces tied all the time so I don't have to bend over...and this morning just trying to get dressed for work was a mission...why...I will tell you why...nothing fits...it's depressing when you have to go to the store and by a bigger size...come on a size 16...why have we allowed this to happen to us...what have we become...what have we done to ourselves...yet on Sunday we go to a restaurant and see two gentlemen sitting at a table who were obese...so much so they have to sit in a chair cause they can't sit at the booth...and we tell ourselves that we never want to reach that point...but we still sat there and had unhealthy food...and the best part was that night going to the movies and realizing that you barely fit in the chair of the movie theater...what do you do then...just not go anymore...so basically give up all the things you like to do because you don't want to change the way you eat or start exercising...how selfish is that...the worst part is seeing that our kids see us and they are growing up with the notion that it's ok to be "fat"...and I don't want them to go through what we are going through...and if we don't change our way of life...at least one of our kids is on the way there...blame it on genes, blame it on protion sizes...but there is really only a few people to blame...my husband and I...and his mother and his stepfather...we are all "fat"...and don't do a darn thing to get off our butts and help these kids exercise...even when this child is crying cause he is out of breath because he was running a short distance...he is 10...what is going to happen to him when he is 15...if we don't help them as parents and guide them then who will...
I haven't spoken to my husband...well at least not today about my reality check...but I have tried to in the past with no results...he just says he isn't motivated...well I think he has lots of reasons to be motivated...if your kids and your wife aren't a motivator in one's life...then really what is there...you have to want to do this for yourself...but you have motivators too...my kids are my motivation...my husband is my motivation...what more do I need...
This will be a really hard road for me as I am a very picky eater...but I don't care...I am going to do this...I'm tired of excuses...I want results...realistic goals...not unattainable goals...I don't want to set myself up for failure...I don't know if I will tell anyone other than my husband about this blog...but if I do allow others to read my blog...please feel free to comment...and please help me with your encouragements during this trying and difficult journey...
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